Realities of Valentine's Day

For Men:

10.   You're not the only one who waited until the last minute, so you're gonna be in line for a while
9.     I know she said she doesn't want anything but you better not come home empty handed
8.     You're gonna wait TWO hours to get into a restaurant that is just average(and YOU will be paying!)
7.     You're gonna spend most of your paycheck hoping to get "lucky" only to find out you've been had
6.     Diamonds ARE a girl's best friend and if you come home without them....well, see # 7
5.     No matter what you bring home, it won't be what she was hoping for(unless you have a good girl)
4.     There are very few good girls so chances are that you don't have one
3.     You still have to go to work today = Enough Said
2.     There are only 313 more days until Christmas so start saving now!(and don't forget her Birthday!)
1.     You realize when you add up all the pieces that a WOMAN must have invented Valentine's Day!

For Women:

10.   Those Chocolates are going to go straight to ALL the places you don't want them to
9.     Yes he went and bought this stuff five minutes ago with the help of the local store clerk.
8.     He knows this isn't what you asked for but he's still hoping you'll THANK him later
7.     Even if he says he's not expecting anything, He is going to be disappointed when you shut him down
6.     That new jewelry you are wearing means you won't be getting anything else for a while
5.     He opened the door for you not because its Valentine's Day, but so he could see you from behind
4.     If there is a game on, He's still going to want to drink beer and invite his buddies over
3.     If he brought home diamonds, he thinks the evening will be spent in the bedroom
2.     Tomorrow he will resort back to his usual ways of peeing on the toilet seat and other MAN-ery
1.     In General, don't expect too much from him today. Secretly he is already looking forward to Tomorrow

Welcome to my new project...

Don't take anything too seriously, try to get a good laugh from my randomness and if you should find something that offends you, be sure to send your responses to my complaint department: 

Imnotlistening@imaginarymail.com

Happy Reading,

The Editor